Perception: I’m on stage and things are rolling along. The performance is going great!! All of a sudden, I have a temporary brain freeze and completely forget a blocking move, and because I forgot a move I’ve also messed up words in an ensemble and on top of that I’ve come in a whole beat early and ruined the entire performance, look like an idiot, and will probably be fired immediately after the curtain comes down, lose my reputation as an artist and never work again!!!! My life is over!!

Reality: No one noticed, except maybe your colleagues who are just as good at covering mistakes as you are.

I cannot say how many times I’ve made mistakes in a performance, how many times this scenario has played out in my head, and how I’m constantly surprised at how no one noticed something that I thought was, surely, a glaring and unforgivable disaster. They simply enjoyed the performance!

First, let me start by saying that as an introverted and shy little girl, I had absolutely no aspirations to becoming a performing artist. I wanted to be a scientist in a lab somewhere unraveling the mysteries of the universe. In fact, I was so painfully shy that I would cry when I had to get up in front of people. This embarrassing fact continued into my undergraduate studies in music. I knew, at my core, that I had a need to perform as a balance to my introverted nature and as a vehicle to get out all the feelings I had, to express my emotion through music, but there was always this crippling self-doubt.

Doubt that I was pretty enough, doubt that I was talented enough, doubt that my voice didn’t suck, doubt that I wasn’t too chubby, too quiet, too loud, not outgoing enough, and on and on and on……

Doubt sucks and makes us hesitate and miss the wonderful!!

And for myself and many many other artists, it is our Achille’s heel. It is almost as if we are mirror blind, our perceptions skewed against our wonderful reality. I would dare to say that most people aren’t able to see just how good they are and it is our job as artists all to tell stories, to dance, to act, to sing, to play and inspire audiences to see the best that is in all of us.

To be able to perform convincingly, we must practice the technique of our art. We pursue it tirelessly and relentlessly so that when we walk out onto the stage, we can make it look effortless.

But, I think that in tandem with this pursuit of perfection with seeming ease, that we should also practice to see the best in ourselves first. We need to practice our own awesomeness and I don’t mean to practice being self-absorbed or haughty. No, art requires a bit of humility, too. I mean to deliberately recognize that you and your output are special. To practice everyday to squash doubt and fear that can sometimes rob us of the joy of performing and the joy of sharing with our audiences those wonderful moments of escape and inspiration. After all, you cannot give joy if you don’t have it.