I have three mothers. My first mother, Zaida Hernandez, is my birth mom. She spoke no English, only Spanish. She was sick and gave me up for adoption when I was very young. She died when I was nine years old. My second mother is Mary Braswell. She adopted me and raised me in Brooklyn, NYC. Our house burned down my second year of high school, which left my family homeless and living in a shelter. I moved away from the shelter when I was 16, but I always found a way to see her or speak to her. My third mother is Michelle Benash. Since I walked into her office, she has endlessly and lovingly been a mother to me and an “Oma” to my two sons.

I don’t know exactly what I was hoping for, or what I was going to say, when I walked through her door…but I felt compelled to ask for help. The fire left me with nothing…just the clothes on my back. Going home to the shelter, I was already mugged twice. My older brother took me in, but he could not do it forever. I was 16 years old with no money and no place to live. Moving around from couch to couch. Fallon’s house, Mayte’s house, Jackie’s house, Gina’s house…I could go on. I started to do bad in school. I only went to dance class…things were not looking good.

I told her about my situation…she looked at me in my eyes and said she would help me. I remember she spoke to me so clearly and strongly. She told me to me look at myself. She made me write down my dreams and goals. She lobbied for my success. She asked favors and pulled strings. She found opportunities and challenged me to do the same. I could never list everything…I like to say, she made magic.

Ms. Benash as I first knew her, was my ballet teacher at LaGuardia High School. She was one of the best ballet teachers I’ve ever had…and I am not just saying that because she is my mother. She was tough! Her class was challenging, but fun. We really worked in her class…and watching her demonstrate was always a treat – she had beautiful quality and lines!!! She was one of the first ballet teachers I ever had. She whipped me into shape and gave me a strong foundation. Michelle has a unique sense of calm. She never lost her temper. She didn’t have to. Her presence demanded respect, and as my mentor Alphonse Poulin would say…she has the goods. She can teach anyone ballet. I still beg for private lessons. One of the greats!

Michelle is deeply spiritual, sensitive, and positive. She has taught me to always keep a positive attitude. Like most moms, she has also been my life coach, my therapist, and my best friend. I have faced some serious situations, and she has given me serious help. In all aspects of my life. Sure she has moved mountains, but close to my heart are the little things that turn out to be big things. My first fine wine, my first gallery opening…she guided me through many experiences. She has had a big hand in molding the man I am today.

She has visited my family and I many times in Europe. When I introduce her as my mother, the reactions of people are always priceless. Is my story so unusual? This might sound crazy, but I feel that I am allowed to have as many mothers as I want…although three is enough. All of my dramatic beginnings seem so far away from me now. I am very fortunate to say my life is much different today. Now, she is a grandma to my boys and there is less drama. I am a lucky guy.

Michelle never judged me for my faults. She always stays open. She always sees the best in me. My positivity comes from her. She has shown me that anything is possible. I really do believe that. Even though she has never had children of her own, her love for me is unconditional. Like a mother’s love should be……


When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you always want to do what you’re doing now?

When I grew up I felt inclined to be a dancer or a become a doctor. At the age of twelve while dancing a children’s role with the Leningrad Kirov Ballet, I waited in the wings at the old Metropolitan Opera House for my entrance. As the Prokofiev music rose from the orchestra pit and the exquisite, long-limbed dancers flew onto the stage. In that inspiring instant, I recognized dance to be my life.


 Michelle’s Favorite Things


 

Favorite things to eat?

It used to be vegetables and now I seem to only want sweets!

Favorite books?

A Long March To Freedom by Nelson Mandela

Favorite movies?

La Vie En Rose with Marian Cottilard

Favorite ballets?

Balanchine’s SERANADE


 I like dancers who…

I like dancers who express their souls and have exquisite technique.


 I am afraid of…

I am afraid of very little. When I become aware that I am afraid, I move into my fear by attempting to feel it fully, I let it become a part of me, and then purposely do that which causes me fear…..Then it usually disappears!


 A dance piece should…

…be fluid, deeply moving, and beautiful.


 Something you like to do other your current job?

I love to get my hands into the dirt in my garden.


 One of the happiest moments in your life?

When my husband and I bought land and an old one-room school house in upstate NY. Over the past 25 years, we have been slowly renovating the schoolhouse, adding ponds, planting trees and creating a garden.


 One of your most unusual or coolest experiences?

Flying in a hot air balloon over the Serengeti with wildebeests and giraffes stampeding below.


 One of the most embarrassing moments in your professional career?

During one of my last performances with ABT on the Met stage, at the final moment of a ballet, I mistakenly turned to face stage left. It was the final note, the dramatic ending when all dancers look stage right into the light. I froze, staring at the full company of dancers.


 Who has been the most influential person/people in your life? or Career? and why?

In my personal life, Graham Bass, a cranial sacral therapist I have gone to, has been the most influential person in my life. He holds a resonance of tremendous calm and non-judgment and a high level of consciousness. When I have challenges in life, I slow down, breathe deeply and imagine his presence….within moments I shift and all is well. In my professional life, Margot Fonteyn. While dancing with the National Ballet of Washington, we worked together. She danced the principal roles in Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. I was most fortunate to become her friend. I will never forget her generosity and love. I was inspired by her choice to live each day with beauty.


 One of the hardest things about your job?

One of the hardest things about my job was the challenges I had with my health. An early, undiagnosed genetic disease took away my strength. I observed dancers around me and did not understand why I could not be consistently strong and why I was always sick. I thought it was my will that was weak. It was only years later when I recognized the prolonged medical consequences of Celiac Disease, did I realize that in fact my will was very strong and that I had used it fully to survive.


 Do you have any goals you still wish to achieve?

To live fully each day with an open heart in presence and wholeness.


 Dear aspiring artists,

Live, breathe and ultimately express the power and potential that you are!

–Michelle Benash

Photo Journal


 

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Have you worked with Michelle? Help me say thank you by sharing your stories in the comments below. Thank YOU for reading!


 

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Main Photo by: Armando Braswell


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