At the start of my column, I vowed to myself to make a conscious effort not make my pieces too personal. I wanted to base my articles solely on interviews and research, not to write about my own thoughts; I’m not an expert…why would people want to hear what I have to say? Well it’s changing. Not because suddenly I think people need to hear what I have to say, but for my own personal reasons, I need to hear what I have to say.

After 14 years, I am retiring from being a professional dancer. There. I said it.

I’ve been blessed with a career that has surpassed my wildest dreams. Since 2002, I have been a part of the Aspen Santa Fe Ballet, traveling the world, performing over 45 works (with 18 created on me)… I’ve lived a dancers’ dream.

I feel fulfilled.

So why is it so difficult?   I am a happily married woman, with exciting future goals and dreams with my husband. Yet, this pending transition, and thought of it, is one of the hardest, emotionally draining, exhausting experiences I have ever created for myself. Why? And how can I process it in an effective way.

Well, that’s what we will attempt to get to the bottom of. In my next columns, I am going to use The Bend as a source of reflection and contemplation of this life change. I’m about 6 months out from my final performances, and although many of the tough decisions have been made, and emotions stirred up, I need another outlet to guide me through this process. I thank you in advance for sticking with me, and for your support as I strive to be present in my process.